How to raise happy, empathetic children when you suffer from a mental health condition | Parenting News,The Indian Express
My sons have witnessed the euphoric highs and despairing lows of my bipolar disorder. But they know, all I need is time to rest and recover before I return to them
By Aparna Piramal Raje
Parenting is enough in itself, and parenting young children when tackling a serious mental illness sounds like an emotional and psychological minefield. But it doesn’t have to be so daunting – it is possible to manage a personal mental-health condition and raise a family.
I have lived with bipolar disorder, a serious mental-health condition, for over two decades. I am the mother of two boys, Amartya, 14 and Agastya, 11. Bipolarity, as the name implies, takes me to euphoric highs and despairing lows; mood swings that my boys have witnessed growing up. I have been stable for the last four years, and also had a similar period of equilibrium when the children were very young. But, in between, there were many years punctuated by regular ‘manic episodes’, when I was far too energetic, and lost in my own racing thoughts, or plunged into weeks of depression.
Nonetheless, my children are happy, confident and secure, at home and at school. Our bond is strong. My job – as a writer, motivational speaker and visiting faculty – allows me to work flexibly and largely from home. I was a hands-on mother when they were young, and even now, when their schedules are busier, we spend a lot of time together at the dinner table, playing table tennis, watching movies on the weekends and going on trips. Daily life is pretty ‘normal’, in other words.
Some specific parenting approaches have helped us weather these storms. First, it is important to acknowledge that one can’t hide anything from the children. They refer to my mood swings in their own language, saying “Mamma’s in a funny mood.” Amartya is particularly quick to notice changes in my expressions and behaviour. “Why are your eyes so red? Why are you so silent?” he said, even when he was quite young. Apart from the extreme mood swings that take place from time to time, bipolarity is defined by daily oscillations in moods; up, down and sideways. He is quick to detect these shifts in body posture, expressions, tone of voice and energy levels.
Rating: 5