Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got married in Vegas. I wish I didn't care.
Jennifer Lopez is now Jennifer Affleck after marriage to Ben Affleck. I'm rooting for happily ever after, even though I don't believe it.
My first thought upon hearing that Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck tied the knot over the weekend in Las Vegas was, “Why can’t I stop reading about this when I have company coming for dinner in 10 minutes and I haven’t even changed the dirty tablecloth?” My next thought was, “What is it about Jennifer Lopez that makes me care about her romantic relationships even when I know the odds of her making it past the 10-year mark are worse than beating the dealer in blackjack?”
Though J.Lo is the embodiment of the besotted bride who’s finally gotten her man, Affleck looks like he just rolled out of bed and doesn’t know what’s going on.
I’ve lost track of how many times “The Wedding Planner” star has been married. Given how often she’s in the news for her love life, I figured she must be approaching Elizabeth Taylor numbers by now (that would be eight), so I looked it up. Before Saturday, she’d had three husbands: singer Marc Anthony (for not quite 10 years before they separated), dancer Cris Judd (about 10 months to their separation), actor Ojani Noa (one year, or maybe even less — I still had to change the tablecloth and didn’t have time for that much research).
I also figured she’d had about a million broken engagements, but it turns out that as of today, she’s had only one. Affleck took almost two decades to make it to home plate. Ironically, the only fiancé who didn’t is retired Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez, whom Lopez dated from early 2017 until April 2021. Within weeks of their betrothal going belly-up, she was seen back with Affleck.
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck arrive at the premiere of "Daredevil" in Los Angeles on Feb. 9, 2003.Kevin Winter / Getty Images fileHere’s something I find really, really frustrating: I can’t remember where I put the knob of ginger I bought at the grocery store last week or the phone I put down two minutes ago, but I remember key details about J.Lo’s relationship with A-Rod — much as I don’t want to. Is that a function of my age-addled brain? Or evidence of how effectively J.Lo satisfies her seemingly unquenchable need for attention?
Rating: 5